Formal introduction letter

To Professor Brad Blackstone and my fellow classmates.

A warm greetings to everyone. My name is Zong Xiang and I am currently pursuing a degree in mechanical engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology. I hope you will learn more about me both as a student and a person .  I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in mechanical engineering in 2020. At first I had no idea what to pursue and I was recommended by my cousins to go into mechanical engineering as they were engineers. Mechanical engineering has grown on me as it was related to my interest in Formula 1 and aviation. 


One communication strength which I feel I have is the ability to communicate effectively in a team. I could communicate well in a team setting to achieve our goals for our tasks during my work in school and in National Service. One weakness I have is that I tend to not be confident when I speak during a presentation as I stutter often. Hence, one of the goals I have for this module is to learn how to be a confident speaker. The other goal I have is to learn how to give and receive constructive feedback as I feel it is one of the best ways to improve.


Toto Wolff, the Team Principal and CEO of Mercedes F1, once said that getting help for his mental health has helped him overcome his problems and has even allowed him to access untapped potential. As I was seeking help during my period of mental struggle during Poly and NS, I have done things that I have never expected myself to do like completing my basic military training to getting a place in a university. This has not just allowed me to find positives in negatives, but it has also instilled a never give up attitude in me.

I am looking forward to working with everyone in this module.


Best Regards,

Chee Zong Xiang


Edited 19 September 2022


Read: Timothy Elise Javier


Henry Valentine, (2022), Wolff describes his ongoing mental health struggles. Available at : https://www.planetf1.com/news/toto-wolff-mental-health-struggles/ (Accessed on 6 September 2022)


Comments

  1. It would be nice if you could include more about yourself Zong Xiang! Perhaps you could include how you spend your free time or some of your other interests.

    Also, there is an error in the line : "Hence, one of the goals I have for this module is to learn how to be a confident a speaker.", with the repeated "a".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Tim, appreciate the feedback. Thank you!

      Delete
  2. Hi Zong Xiang,

    Thank you for sharing about yourself, overall the introduction was well put. I like how you quote from a article about mental health struggle by Toto Wolff . However I feel you could add some punctuation to make the flow of the paragraph better. One of the example is "A warm greetings to everyone, my name is Zong Xiang and I am currently" you could add a full stop and removing the "and" at the end of your name.

    Regards,
    Bin Hong

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Bin Hong, appreciate feedback given. Thank you!

      Delete
  3. Dear Zong Xiang,

    Thank you for this detailed letter and the personal sharing. I appreciate the rich content that is well aligned with the assignment brief, the effective way you have organized your thoughts and the good language use.

    You've done a fine job providing supporting information for each specific content area, allowing us readers to gain a fairly clear understanding of who you are. I especially like the reference to your interest in Formula 1, the reference to Toto Wolff and the open discussion of the mental challenges you've faced. It's great that you have been able to turn those negative you allude to into positives.

    Here are a few language challenges I'd like you to consider:

    1. Sentence structure
    -- A warm greetings to everyone, my name is Zong Xiang and I am currently pursuing.... > (comma splice) ?
    -- From completing my basic military training to getting a place in a university. > (fragment) ?
    2. Phrasing/word choice
    -- Mechanical engineering has grown on me as they were related to my interest in Formula 1 and aviation. > (they?)

    3. Verb use
    -- I can communicate well in a team setting to achieve our goals for our task during my work in school and in National Service. > (tense error) I COULD communicate well in a team setting to achieve our goals for our taskS during my work in school and in National Service.

    Let's work on these.

    I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.

    Best wishes,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Prof Brad, really appreciate your feedback for my letter. Thank you!

      Delete

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